Helping a Loved One Overcome Addiction

(This article appeared in the July/August 2013 edition of The American Postal Worker.)

Joyce B. Robinson, Research & Education Department Director

Helping a loved one who is struggling with alcoholism, drug abuse, an eating disorder, or other destructive behavior can be challenging. Sometimes a direct, heart-to-heart conversation can lead to the road to recovery. But when it comes to addiction, you may need to join forces with others and take action through a formal intervention.

What is an intervention? An intervention is a carefully planned process involving family, friends and sometimes colleagues, clergy members, or others who care about a person struggling with addiction. During the intervention, these people gather together to confront the person about the consequences of addiction and ask him or her to accept treatment. An intervention can help people who are struggling with addictive behaviors but are unwilling to accept treatment.

Addictive behaviors can include alcoholism, abuse of illegal drugs or prescription medicine, eating disorders, and compulsive gambling. An intervention usually includes the following steps:

Step 1 - Planning: A family member or friend proposes an intervention and forms a planning group. He or she should consult with an intervention professional, a qualified professional counselor or a social worker to assist or offer advice in case the loved one becomes angry or violent.

Step 2 - Gathering information: Research the condition and treatment programs. The group should be prepared to enroll the loved one in a specific treatment program.

Step 3 - Forming the intervention team: Team members must personally participate in the intervention. Set a date, time, and location for the intervention. Be prepared to present a consistent, rehearsed message with a structured treatment plan.

Step 4 - Deciding on specific consequences: Each person on the team should decide a course of action that he or she will take if your loved one refuses treatment. Examples include asking your loved one to move out or taking away contact with his or her children.

Step 5 - Writing down what to say: Each member of the team should detail specific incidents where the addiction has caused problems, such as emotional or financial difficulties. Discuss the toll taken by your loved one’s behavior while expressing care and the belief that your loved one can change.

Step 6 - The intervention meeting: Ask the loved one to meet at the intervention site but don’t reveal the reason. Members of the team take turns expressing their concerns and feelings. The loved one is presented with a treatment option and asked to accept that option on the spot. Each team member will say what specific changes they will make if the addicted person doesn’t accept the plan.

Step 7 - Follow-up: The involvement of a spouse, family members, or others is critical in helping someone with an addiction stay in treatment and avoid relapsing. This can include changing patterns of everyday living to make it easier to avoid destructive behavior; offering to participate in counseling with your loved one; seeking your own therapist and recovery support, and knowing what to do if a relapse occurs.

An Intervention Professional

Having an intervention professional, an addiction specialist, psychologist or mental health counselor attend the intervention is a good idea, especially if your loved one has a history of serious mental illness or violence, demonstrates suicidal behavior or talks about suicide, takes mood-altering substances, is easily angered or denies that he or she has a problem.

For additional information and treatment options, contact your healthcare or spiritual adviser.

Remember, people with addictive behaviors often fail to see the negative effects their behavior has on themselves and others and are frequently unwilling to seek treatment. Do not wait until they ask for help. Instead, think of an intervention as giving your loved one a clear opportunity to make changes before things get much worse.